butterflybird46 (butterflybird46) wrote,


Title:Saving Grace
Type: a series of oneshots
Chapter: 1/6
Characters: DBSK and others
Disclaimer: I don't own them...It would be nice though right?
Rating: PG
Summary: Life is a journey to find that one and only. But what if you don't realize you've found it? What if you lose the chance of a lifetime forever? Is it too late?

*this one is for Changmin bc he's my favorite*

In the dark room I sit in, it seems that this is what my life has acummulated to. Darkness. As I pour the liquor down my throat, the burn it causes does not help burn away my pain. Instead my eyes start to burn as frest hot tears flow down my face. Why is life worth living now?


Searching through my mind I go through all the possibilities.



My father's only love is the new 18 year old girl that he makes me call mother. She's my age. We actually went to school together. I was her tutor. That's how they met. I wonder why she came to my house a lot for help. I thought she just needed help. I was glad to help. But she was only there for him. That's how she seduced him. That's why he left. That's why my family fell apart.


Mom hates me. She thinks I'm the reason he left. I introduced them. "You can leave with him. I don't need you, you traitor." That's all she said that night she kicked me out. No more family.



"We'll be friends forever. I'll always be there for you." That's what Amy told me when we were 10. I believed her. I really did. Until a few weeks ago. She wouldn't return my phonecalls. I went to her house. "What do you want? Just go away. All you are is baggage now. You're boring and depressed all the time. I sick and tired of you. I have a life too. Stop holding me back." I didn't say anything. I just stood there on her front step as she slammed the door on our friendship. The end.



I loved him. He was everything I wanted. He was perfect. Until he changed. He became distant. Uncaring. Forgetful of our dates. He lost interest. I caught him. In our bed. With her. My best friend Amy. He held no regret. He didn't apologize. They simply smirked at my discovery and called me "stupid." Maybe I should've known. Maybe I should've reacted when I saw her leave his apartment that morning with his shirt on. Maybe I am stupid.



I did have my dream job. I got into SM as an intern. Until I met the man I was working under. He was nice. At first. Before he touched me. Before I rejected him. Now he yells at me. I work 80 hours a week. He calls me at 4 in the morning to pick him up when he's drunk at the strip club. He hits me. It's only to "knock some sense into my thick skull." To him, I'm just a dog.


My life is just a ball of perfection. I chuckle at my sick sense of humor before I down the whole bottle of whisky. I throw the bottle, hearing it break into pieces on contact with the opposite wall. I pick up the knife next to my feet. I guess there is nothing left. Life is not worth living when it's what you call hell.


I held the knife up to my wrist. I close my eyes and hold it against the thin skin. Now pain will be relieved from my heart. And nothingness will welcome me with its emptiness. No more feelings. Just peace.


But then I see him...


Him...He was the one that saved me when my family abandoned me. He gave me a place to stay. He was the one who saved me when Amy abandoned me. He gave me that comforting shoulder. He was the one who saved me when my boyfriend abandoned me. He gave me someone to hold on to. He was the one who saved me when I couldn't get a job. He gave me that internship. And he was the one who saved me when I was helpless. He gave me strength to carry on in my weariness at work. He was always there. He was my angel. He was the one and only....Shim Changmin. I open my eyes. I drop the knife.


I had someone to live for. Changmin had always been there. He always cared. He didn't say much, but he knew me more than Amy ever had. To many, he was just blunt and logical, but to me, he was all heart. Even during his busy schedule, he would call back to check up on me. Listen to me cry. Stay with me until he knew I had fallen asleep. I was the first person he saw when he got off the plane. I always came first. Why didn't I see? My own pain had blinded me. The pain had masked any affection that was given to me. I was numb to his love. I was so cold. I can't lose him. Not another person. I have to find him. I must return his love before he decides to take it back forever.


I race down the roads without regards to the other cars. I had one destination. Changmin. I dial his number. No response. Please still be here. I turn around to drive to the SM building. I pull up and jump out, disregarding where I had parked. I need to see him. I ran up the flights of stairs.


"Have you seen Changmin?" I asked one of the workers. "Yeah he's in the practice room with the others." My heart's racing. I've got to get to him. I sprint up the stairs. I run towards the practice room, dodging the people obstructing my way. I have to see him.


I swing open the door. Everyone looks to me. My eyes scan the room and it lands on the face of my angel. His lips spread into the sweetest smile on earth, his eyes sparkling. "What are you doing here?" He says softly, walking towards me.


Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks as I smiled my first one since...I don't remember when. And it felt so good. I ran towards him and jumped in his arms. Changmin caught with ease. Before he could say anything else, I kissed him. I knew that I couldn't tell him how I felt at the moment, but I hoped that all of my heart could be poured into him by this one kiss. That all I could possibly want to say could be transfered through our lips as they were crushed against each other at the moment. I knew he was in shock by how he froze and stiffened up, but he gave in even before he hesitated. He held on to me tighter. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life this moment wouldn't end.


Nothing else seemed to matter. He was it. People spend their lives searching for heaven, but I was there. God made me suffer through hell, but it just made heaven on earth a little sweeter. Oh and how his lips were oh so sweet. So soft, so addictive. I could hold on forever...


However, before we both pass out from lack of oxygen, I slowly and painfully released myself from the kiss. I opened my eyes to look into his. I've never noticed how beautiful they were. They were depthless, going on forever, crystal clear, but there was a glint of innocence. They held so much promise that it made me want to believe everything he'll ever say to me. I smiled. He smiled back, but in a I-kinda-confused way, with his eyebrows half-raised and him biting his lip, head leaned to the side. "I don't know what I did, but I'm pretty sure it was good." He finally set me back on the ground, making me realize I was literally floating.


I giggled. "You did more than good...You saved my life."


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